I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
