Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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