he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we're making bets on your personal life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
