You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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