Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
