oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
