That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
love makes seman taste better
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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