At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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