OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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