Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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