Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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