just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
