I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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