i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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