I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
