I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
