I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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