mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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