...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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