I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
