i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
