you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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