Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
