Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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