hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
