Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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