Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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