we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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