How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
