yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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