if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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