Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
