Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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