What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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