Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
