Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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