I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize