Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
