ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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