Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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