fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
