In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
