I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
