is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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