Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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