so that wasnt chicken after all
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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