foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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