What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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