Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
