we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
