dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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