Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
