Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
