Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
