and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize