you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
