Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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