Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
