New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
