I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
