I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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