im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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