Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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