It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
