Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sarcasm needs its own font
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize