...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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