It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
