So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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