Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
