I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
