The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
