I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
