did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
