god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
