Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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