omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
